i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
Your car is in front of my house. Keys are in the mailbox. There is a fire hydrant in your trunk. Happy Birthday
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
Randomize
