btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
so i'm just gonna leave my credit card in your mailbox so you can bail me outta jail.. deal?
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
Randomize
