that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
I will give you the couch, a small portion of the fridge, and plenty of beer.
Got my future figured out. I'm oddly comforted. Thanks, bro.
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
Randomize
