And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
you were carrying around a glass of vodka telling everyone it was Russian water
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
I don't believe in coincidence. I believe in the stars aligning perfectly to sodomise me in public. Who ever said I was cynical?
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
My dad lost his bandaid somewhere in the turkey. It was a mixture of thanksgiving and an Easter egg hunt
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
I'm, like, this 🤏🏼 close to buying crocs
And you're also 🤏🏼 to never putting your dick inside me again
Randomize
