Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
How do I tell my mom that she just went to the gym with my water bottle filled with vodka...
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
She cheated on me with the same state trooper that wrote me a ticket.
I guess now you have a way to keep your license when you bring that up in court.
Dude, you are the most awesome.
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
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