Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
Santa brought me a 1.75 of wine, and a liter of patron. I probably won't remember Christmas, so don't ask me how it was tomorrow.
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
Randomize
