i just had 3 doubles lined up on top of a urinal, texting with one hand and my dick in the other. I an fucking awesome.
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
Randomize
