As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
Eating Doritos is not nearly as enjoyable when I'm not drunkenly feeding them to peacocks.
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
He woke me up at 5am to recite nursery rhymes to our fictitious unborn child.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
Woke up in a fanny pack with a bag of cocaine on my cheek
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
Randomize
