"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
Not as great as when your drunk mom grabbed my junk, but better than when your sober grandma sacktapped me and grabbed my butt.
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
Randomize
