Making my coffee at work this morning let out a jack daniels fark. Turn around and see the quiet guy making his breakfast
what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
I had a dream last night that I had sex with Abe Lincoln. I must stop watching the History Channel before I go to bed.
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
Randomize
