I felt like helen keller
But she could have totally found that shit before me
im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
soo... how was my night?
Randomize
