He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
He heard our neighbor’s vibrator through the wall, knocked on her door and now they’re doing it
The blonde?!? That’s just unfair! His penis already has a fairy tale existence
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