Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
You were so high that you only FaceTimed me so that you could stare into your own eyes and not actually say anything
Apparently asking your girlfriends roommate for a hand job when u craw into the wrong bed after a bottle of rum is "bad form".
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
Randomize
