Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
I fucking hate you. Some slutty looking drunk chick backed her ass up across the bar and started grinding on you. You ignored her because you didn't want to share you drink
I care about my drink far more than her feelings
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
I'm standing on the corner in a banana costume and cape with frozen bananas in my utility belt reassessing my life decisions.
Can someone please remind me later tonight that there's a taco in my purse. I may get drunk and forget I put it there
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
Randomize
