just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
Dude. I'm no longer allowed to use my sword when drinking. I just spent 20 min cleaning up popcorn. I stabbed Moe in the leg and chopped his door knob off
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
Randomize
