So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
What is the protocol for an "i'm sorry I had my ex retrieve me from the bar so I didn't drive drunk" blow job
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
Randomize
