Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
I can't believe the cop was so cool about the whole thing, I mean, I had man mayo all over my jeans.
My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
two more shots til everyone in this club gets to see my cesarean scars.
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
I will come to your office dressed as a bloody mary, hug you then leave is that a good plan?
yes. bring a barf bucket too. just. in. case.
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
Randomize
