So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
I just called him "young grasshopper" in a conversation. THIS is why I don't get numbers when I'm sober
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
Randomize
