During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
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