Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
when a girl says 'did you just try to kiss me' you should leave the bar. trust me.
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
I love you and want you to know that you're the best friend ever and me lassoing you with a seatbelt was out of sheer affection.
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
There are 144 bottles of wine in my mother's pantry. She just shrugged her shoulders and said it was for the wine pong tournament on Christmas Day.
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
Randomize
