He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
my cat ate my toast this morning while i was getting dressed. i can already tell today is going to suck.
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
You are a genius and a whore.
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
Randomize