I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
They should really pass out barf bags in church
i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
I want a bottle of whiskey to be dropped at my doorstep like a stork drops babies when they are delivered to their parents.
God what have you done to be that much in need of alcohol.
Me WANTS my preciousssssssssss
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
Randomize
