I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
Randomize
