He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
Why do all the Father's Day cards talk about what a great dad they are? Why can't there be one that says something like "Thanks for sticking it to mom and making me possible, your sperm was appreciated."
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
Randomize
