She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
Randomize
