The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
I need a hoe opinion
go on
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
Randomize
