think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
that thing about your dad's boner was meant to be a compliment
Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
sometimes i just want to live alone. my roommate keeps looking at me weird like hes never seen a girl eat plain salt before
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
Tonight's trip to the ER was brought to you by, "fork jousting."
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
I was gonna be Romantic and write your name in emoji eggplants but A's are hard
I love millennial parents. One of the moms at the daycare center literally told me she and her husband named two of her kids after batman characters and one after game of thrones
Randomize
