dude, i look like john mccains neck right now
I molested 6 butterflies tonight
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
I'll never be able to have sex on these sheets. I'd have to cover up the eyes of every single Elmo.
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
Dude. I tried to hide my drunk wounds from my parents. Response: "we were young once" and "oh god, did I raise a drunk?"
You are beyond drunk wounds. You have drunk battle scars. A true veteran of the sidewalk
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
Randomize
