Life lesson: Don't ever put your penis in a crazy girl. Especially if she's married. And has a kid.
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
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