All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
As punishment for throwing up on my car, I am holding your phone hostage until the morning. You can read this message after I drop it off.
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
I don't know who's more excited for you to come home. Me or my vagina
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
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