did you get engaged???
just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
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