the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
Note to Self: No matter how horny, turned on or in the moment you are, never go down on your gf after she had soccer practice.
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
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