Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
She wrote me a poem titled "Penis Flower" and it wasnt a joke
Just crushed a xanax into my chewing gum. Its gonna be a long, fucking up flight...
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
Randomize
