We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
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