i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
My first STD was from a foam party
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
My ex came to my place while I was gone. Random things he took: snow shoes, my laundry quarters, a decorative picture, all my condiments, the container that held my rice and a sticker off my wallet. Then left a note saying he watered my plants and fed my cats. What. The. Fuck.
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
Being engaged is strange. I looked at my cock this morning and said, "we did alright these last 32 years, right?"
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
Randomize