Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
it’s not easy to sexualize brunch. work with me, babe.
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
Randomize
