Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
Nothing says "Hello, Adulthood!" quite like receiving a dick photo at 11AM from a guy you haven't heard from since fifth grade.
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
Randomize
