i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
You reached new levels of laziness. After we woke you up to take shots with us, you stayed in bed so you didn't have to move when you were drunk and sleepy
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
I think I deserve an award for the breakup text I sent him. Like a pulitzer prize or a donut or something.
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