You're my little dorito
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
Every time I started to really hate the guys on tinder, the universe throws me a muscly beardy bone.
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
Randomize
