she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
His hands were made for my vagina.
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
death, taxes, and me drunk texting you are 3 certainties in life
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
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