Um....I woke up to a lipgloss covered bottle of Jack daniels in my arms..
You've kissed worse.
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
woke up on the kitchen floor in the recovery position. at least drunk me remembered sober me's emt training
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
I AM VODKA MAN
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
If I die tonight somebody's going to have to let all my tinder matches know.
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
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