I'm chasing vodka with french fries.
well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
i'm unexpectedly in a limo, eating poutine. the driver just offered me coke. good idea?
three words: i give head
three words: not that well
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
