dude wtf did we explode in my microwave last night?
idk but i think it had a face
I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
It's a pity Stephen Hawking can't do sarcasm.
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
YOU HAVE TO STOP TELLING BARTENDERS WE DON'T HAVE MORAL STANDARDS
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
Randomize
