You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
did you violate me with a mr sketch marker when i passed out? i just peed and wiped purple and it smelled like grape. i need to get to the bottom of this...
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
Randomize
