Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
why didn't you poke me back
So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
You put on some guys Birkenstocks that were abandoned on the dance floor overtop of your flats. Then ran out of the bar high gives the bouncer and said "look at my new kicks" then he was like woah wait a minute someone is missing those and made you return them. You were very upset
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
Randomize
