dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
oh vodka. i could write you a sonnet.
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
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