It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
got weed?
I'm really tired of you accidentally texting me when your doing illegal things. I'm taking away your phone.
sorry mom...
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
Another day, another engagement, another cat
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
I need you to know that everytime my toddler does the downward facing dog in the nude I think about the night you and your dude fell in love.
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
Randomize
