Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
You couldn't stand up so I took you home, took off your makeup, put you to bed then shaved off your eyebrows. I so nearly won the responsible adult prize.
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
When she introduced her friend to me I shook his hand and told him not to leave his ugly vest at my apartment in the morning. He took it off and bought me a shot.
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
It's a sad day when ur phone automatically updates u on Thursdays that traffic is normal and how long it will take to get to the bar
That's fucking great actually
I'm gonna have to start putting baby wipes and a change of pants in my bag. The amount of times I'm scared of shitting my pants in public is too high and I need the reassurance
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
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