Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
Since you haven't talked to me since the rancid whipped cream fiasco, I'm going to assume we are no longer hooking up. But I need my handcuffs back. ASAP.
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
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