Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
just accidentally masturbated with tiger balm. best. accident. ever.
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
I got a black eye last night. This guy said for every 35 pounds you lose you gain an inch to your dick. I asked him how long he has been peeing sitting down.
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
I just slapped myself in the face with my dildo and I know that's a weird thing to share but I just had to tell to someone omg I'm laughing so hard
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
Randomize
