i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
Why can't people give useful wedding gifts...like sex swings or Nutella?
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
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