there is nothing more satisfying than playing sudoku while pooping
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
What were you even doing out there at 2 a.m.?
Look, i had a gallon of lemonade, a pack of smokes and a Darth Vader voice changer. What did you EXPECT me to do?
Pro: 2020 made it easier to hook up with strippers
Con: explaining to Kari why there’s always strippers at our house
Pro: there’s always strippers at our house
Randomize
