Having your wife answer your cell was so lame. Maybe we can talk when you get your phone, your facebook account, and your balls back.
I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
I kept yelling "BY ORDER OF THE PEAKY FUCKING BLINDERS" in a terrible brummie accent at everyone I saw wearing a flatcap.
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
Randomize
