absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
My mom asked me to donate my child hood stuffed animals to the poor then I realized I was hiding liquor behind them. I told her I was too attached to them. She understood. Wrong in so many ways.
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
I recently had a rabies scare because I thought putting socks on my hands to pick up a squirrel that got in my house was a good idea.
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
Randomize
