What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
What's wrong?
Long week. Sore muscles. Bad back. Hangover. Mini-keg. Crazy ex-wife. Unavailable love-interest. Dead celebrity families. Republicans.
Pussy.
"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious.
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
This beer is not sobering me up at all
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
I didn't notice because vodka
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
Randomize
