Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
Someone said we're out of ice. You collapsed on the spot and started sobbing, saying 'but where will all the polar bears live". That drunk.
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
Was just told that I slept on the counter using a loaf of bread as a pillow. Clearly my life is going well.
I say I'm working from home on conference call days, but really I just mute the phone, put that shit on speaker so I can hear what's going on, and let Marcus fuck my brains out.
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
Randomize
