Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
Randomize
