Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
Here's an idea...how about I take shots by myself and drunk dial you around noon?
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
Randomize
