I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
My new years resolution is going to be to stop drunk snapchatting old hook ups asking them when we're going to bang again
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
After I chugged my beer the cop slapped my ass and said "atta girl" this can't be real life.
Randomize
