Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
Randomize
