Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
i woke up with my wallet keys and phone missing and a treasure map to find them stapled to my shirt.
haha i know
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
Cracked my iPhone screen. Real bad. Girl from last night isn't ugly yet. Stop me if you still think she belongs under a bridge. You have 12 seconds.
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
Randomize
