her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
just woke up and this girl had my cellphone nestled in the front of her thong. i kept thinking "is this a trap?"
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
why did I try to FaceTime with 311 last night?
Watching her eat just hurts me
Hey please buy toilet paper today. Plastic grocery bags are starting to hurt now
Super awkward when the coworker you made out with in exchange for molly last weekend keeps coming over to your cube and trying to talk to you
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
I just tinder matched with a blue angels pilot. I need to make out with him. For America.
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
You left me a note that said "The Earth is blowing up. Bring the Rosé." WTF.
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