Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
A client gave me a bottle of vodka today. And he was hot with a beard. It's like he knows my soul.
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
Randomize
