when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
I found a knife in my bed when I got back this morning. I think one of my roommates has it in for me
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
So in the middle of making out, he decided to give me a breast exam. God I love dating a doctor. He saved me a $20 copay.
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize
