Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
my family just sang happy birthday to baby jesus. no ones even drunk yet
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
Just saw a 300lb woman fall down. Shes screaming like a beached manatee. Her 120lb boyfriend is trying to push her up. It's like watching an infant try to bench
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
Randomize
