They should really pass out barf bags in church
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
Randomize
