Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
Look, opening a Guinness with a steak knife and nearly cutting your finger off to make another carbomb is always a good idea.
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
She's throwing herself an "I just had a baby" shower, where she makes up for 9 months of sobriety then squeezing a watermelon out of her vagina.
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
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