yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
You slow danced with your carpet steamer last night.
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
THIS IS AN AMERICAN HORROR STORY I CAN'T FIND MY VIBRATOR ANYWHERE WHICH MEANS I LOST IT WHEN I MOVED WHICH MEANS MY POOR VIBRATOR IS OUT THERE IN THE WORLD ALL ALONE RIGHT NOW WHAT AM I GOING TO DO
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
After I chugged my beer the cop slapped my ass and said "atta girl" this can't be real life.
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
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