I think i sorta joined a cult last night
i hope kanye doesn't show up to patrick swayze's funeral. " i'll let you get back to your funeral in a minute...but michael jackson had the best death of the year. just sayinnn ".
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
Randomize
