help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
In two unrelated events today I have had frostbite on my toe and cum up my nose. Who says life stops when you get married?
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
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