Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
I'm drunk, laying in bed, eating macaroni salad. I dropped a piece and tried to pick it up with a fork. My cleavage is bleeding and I haven't been laid yet. Heeeyyyy!!!
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
I need to calm my uterus...
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
Randomize
